hello all (:
it's been quite a while since i posted, i know.
i've been busy.
that's not really a lie, but it's a lame excuse.
i haven't been testing my blood sugar very much. i'm lucky if it's twice a day. that is a stupid, stupid idea.
my A1C is 11.8, which is up .2 from three months ago. i am steadily climbing higher and higher into the "you are killing yourself" levels.
i know i shouldn't be ignoring it like i am.
but it's hard to deal with diabetes on top of depression.
i'm working on it, though! i keep telling myself that. i keep reminding myself it takes a long time to get back to normal, and once you're there, you have to keep on top of it.
i'll get there. i have a lovely support system in my parents, my friends, and my doctors.
i owe a lot to victoria cumbow, too. i spent a night eating a practically carb-less dinner, talking diabetes, joking around, and learning about the DOC with her a few weeks ago, after a particularly bad endo visit. victoria, thank you. you got me into this blog thing, and therefore into this family that i'm slowly meeting.
i just started a new blog, called "every day jj", over on tumblr. i know a lot of you don't have tumblrs, but maybe this blog will benefit you -- you can view it even if you don't have your own account. it's at everydayjj.tumblr.com and it is about all my struggles -- depression, diabetes, the works. it's not just a diary of problems, though, it's a celebration of triumphs. i'll be posting at least once a day there, hopefully.
i think you DOC'ers, you online community crazies (and i say that with the utmost affection), will understand this blog better than some of my "real life" friends.
anyway, this has been sort of a rambling, scattered update. i just thought i'd drop a line to you, since you're always around for me (:
<3 jj
novolog ninja, OUT!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Diabetes: Why It's My Fault
So today I was reminded of an infinitely visited topic, and that is why having diabetes is my fault. I'm not really sure where along the line someone decided that whatever they overheard on a commercial was enough to certify them as an expert on the subject, for any disease or ailment, but pwds seems to suffer the brunt of this syndrome quite frequently.
You know those people who hear you have some disease or sickness and they tell you "oh, but if you have a positive outlook, you can get yourself healthy again!" After about twenty of these encounters, you find yourself playing out a scenario in your head where the next person who says something along those lines witnesses you begin to twitch, still smiling, before babbling "of course it's my fault, what was i thinking? i'm so silly!" and punching them square in the face.
I know I'm not the only one out there. I've run into several of these people lately. I don't mind that you're wrong about everything you think you know about diabetes. I don't mind that you don't have a necessity to know the difference between high and low blood sugar, between types 1 and 2 diabetes, between a syringe and a lancet, between a pump and a glucose monitor, between Novolog/Humalog and Lantus. I don't mind that you don't have to continue learning even more about these things because your life depends on it.
I only mind that for some reason, you think you know how to "fix" me. I'm the one that has to live with the immune system that attacks it's own body. I'm the one that has to deal with this on a daily basis. I'm not pitying myself -- there are very few differences between me and any one other person because of my diabetes (namely, that most other people have fully-functional pancreii*). I don't look down on myself or think that I should be treated differently. I can do anything you can do -- with the exception of producing my own insulin.
I'm just saying that, after a while, the Wilford Brimely "You have DIE-BEE-TUS" jokes aren't funny anymore. (Yes, I get it. I have Die-Bee-Tus. Ha, ha, ha.) After a while, the "oh, wait, you can't have a cookie" statements get old (because, well, YES I CAN. Don't try and take my cookie away. I'll bite you.) After a while, the "I heard on a commercial that they have a cure now" comments have failed to inspire the false-hope/major-letdown feeling (it's not a cure...it's a new meter/pump/test-strip/lancet).
Although I will never get tired of younger girls saying "Oh wait. Isn't that the thing Nick Jonas has?" Because yes, yes it is. And yes, he is a very good looking guy. Don't worry, Nick...if you get too much sugar from these fangirls, I'll be more than willing to share my insulin (; Hey, it's not my fault you coined the phrase "Slow down, Sugar, I'm diabetic." I do take full responsibility for the overuse on my part of that phrase, though.
So yes. Sometimes I will be annoyed that the whole world doesn't know the difference between types 1 and 2, or the causes/effects of either. But I will never blame the world for giving me diabetes, I will never blame the world for not knowing, and I will never look down on myself or anyone else because of a sickness. I do not pretend to know everything about diabetes, let alone other diseases in which people suffer from a tragic unawareness by the masses. I only say that it is not my fault, nor is it anyone else's, that I have what I have.
It doesn't make me a different person, and I'd be ridiculously grateful if you would please stop forwarding me chain e-mails and memes about Wilford Brimley. (I'm kidding. Forward away. But just know...you don't have to watch what I eat and try and limit my cookie intake. I can care for myself. I've had the beetus long enough (: I promise.)
*pancreii -- this isn't the technical plural for pancreas. i believe it's actually "pancreata", but pancreii sounds cooler and this is my blog so stick that in your juicebox and suck it. novolog ninja, OUT! (:
<3 jordan
Sidenote: For all you d-blog readers, dia- and non-dia, check this out. [[ http://t.co/kjNH1Gx ]] My pump faceplate FELL OFF. like, the WHOLE THING. on friday at about four in the afternoon. i was out of cell range and couldn't call in for a new one until about five forty-five, either. scary! fortunately animas pump support is amazing and overnighted me a new one...saturday morning! (:
You know those people who hear you have some disease or sickness and they tell you "oh, but if you have a positive outlook, you can get yourself healthy again!" After about twenty of these encounters, you find yourself playing out a scenario in your head where the next person who says something along those lines witnesses you begin to twitch, still smiling, before babbling "of course it's my fault, what was i thinking? i'm so silly!" and punching them square in the face.
I know I'm not the only one out there. I've run into several of these people lately. I don't mind that you're wrong about everything you think you know about diabetes. I don't mind that you don't have a necessity to know the difference between high and low blood sugar, between types 1 and 2 diabetes, between a syringe and a lancet, between a pump and a glucose monitor, between Novolog/Humalog and Lantus. I don't mind that you don't have to continue learning even more about these things because your life depends on it.
I only mind that for some reason, you think you know how to "fix" me. I'm the one that has to live with the immune system that attacks it's own body. I'm the one that has to deal with this on a daily basis. I'm not pitying myself -- there are very few differences between me and any one other person because of my diabetes (namely, that most other people have fully-functional pancreii*). I don't look down on myself or think that I should be treated differently. I can do anything you can do -- with the exception of producing my own insulin.
I'm just saying that, after a while, the Wilford Brimely "You have DIE-BEE-TUS" jokes aren't funny anymore. (Yes, I get it. I have Die-Bee-Tus. Ha, ha, ha.) After a while, the "oh, wait, you can't have a cookie" statements get old (because, well, YES I CAN. Don't try and take my cookie away. I'll bite you.) After a while, the "I heard on a commercial that they have a cure now" comments have failed to inspire the false-hope/major-letdown feeling (it's not a cure...it's a new meter/pump/test-strip/lancet).
Although I will never get tired of younger girls saying "Oh wait. Isn't that the thing Nick Jonas has?" Because yes, yes it is. And yes, he is a very good looking guy. Don't worry, Nick...if you get too much sugar from these fangirls, I'll be more than willing to share my insulin (; Hey, it's not my fault you coined the phrase "Slow down, Sugar, I'm diabetic." I do take full responsibility for the overuse on my part of that phrase, though.
So yes. Sometimes I will be annoyed that the whole world doesn't know the difference between types 1 and 2, or the causes/effects of either. But I will never blame the world for giving me diabetes, I will never blame the world for not knowing, and I will never look down on myself or anyone else because of a sickness. I do not pretend to know everything about diabetes, let alone other diseases in which people suffer from a tragic unawareness by the masses. I only say that it is not my fault, nor is it anyone else's, that I have what I have.
It doesn't make me a different person, and I'd be ridiculously grateful if you would please stop forwarding me chain e-mails and memes about Wilford Brimley. (I'm kidding. Forward away. But just know...you don't have to watch what I eat and try and limit my cookie intake. I can care for myself. I've had the beetus long enough (: I promise.)
*pancreii -- this isn't the technical plural for pancreas. i believe it's actually "pancreata", but pancreii sounds cooler and this is my blog so stick that in your juicebox and suck it. novolog ninja, OUT! (:
<3 jordan
Sidenote: For all you d-blog readers, dia- and non-dia, check this out. [[ http://t.co/kjNH1Gx ]] My pump faceplate FELL OFF. like, the WHOLE THING. on friday at about four in the afternoon. i was out of cell range and couldn't call in for a new one until about five forty-five, either. scary! fortunately animas pump support is amazing and overnighted me a new one...saturday morning! (:
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thanks For The Welcoming Committee
So here I am, starting a new blog focused on type one diabetes and my...we'll say "adventure", with it. What the heck am I getting myself into here? I don't know. I guess that's half the fun of an adventure though, right?
I got the idea to do this from Victoria Cumbow (go check out her blog at victoriacumbow.com). She always tweeted about something called DOC, and for a long time, I couldn't figure out what it stood for -- just that it was a bunch of people talking about diabetes...online...on community sites...OH. Got it. Diabetes Online Community. Duh. Anyway, I saw how her DOC friends interacted and I thought "you know, that might be good for me."
My problem is, I love to have fun and I love to always be doing something...but that something is rarely paying attention to my diabetes. I have a tendency to think along the lines of "I feel fine, so my blood sugar must be okay." Unfortunately for me, I've had high blood sugar for so long that now it feels normal. I feel low when I hit about 120 sometimes. Ouch!
I figure if I spend so much time on twitter, facebook, tumblr, etc., then why shouldn't I use that to make me pay more attention to my diabetes? My goal here is to have diabetes -- not let it have me. Who knows if this will work wonders or be a spectacular flop. We'll just have to find out, won't we? But if Victoria and this DOC thing are any previous indication, I think it will.
[[That's where the title for this post came from -- immediately after I started this blog and twitter, Victoria had a welcoming committee ready to wave me into the DOC. It was awesome -- I was at work trying to fix a high (370;; shame on me!) when I got a flood of tweets saying hi. Put a smile on my face, anyway (: I already love you people!]]
Who wants to only read about diabetes and the boring logistics all the time? Not me, that's for certain. So my goal here, lovely fellow bloggers, is to keep it interesting. So enough about why I started this blog. Here's a little bit about the [dysfunctional] pancreas (and the human it belongs to) behind the pump.
My name is Jordan, but I have a ridiculous amount of nicknames. Most commonly I've been going by JJ lately, but a few choice ones include Josie, J-Metal, and Sarah Jo (for the record, my first name is Sarah.) Pick one, any one...I promise I'll answer!
I reckon that's about it for now. Be sure to follow me on twitter @novologninja for more lame humor, among other things. Thanks for reading, y'all (can you tell I'm southern?) and I hope I wasn't boring!
<3 Jordan
I got the idea to do this from Victoria Cumbow (go check out her blog at victoriacumbow.com). She always tweeted about something called DOC, and for a long time, I couldn't figure out what it stood for -- just that it was a bunch of people talking about diabetes...online...on community sites...OH. Got it. Diabetes Online Community. Duh. Anyway, I saw how her DOC friends interacted and I thought "you know, that might be good for me."
My problem is, I love to have fun and I love to always be doing something...but that something is rarely paying attention to my diabetes. I have a tendency to think along the lines of "I feel fine, so my blood sugar must be okay." Unfortunately for me, I've had high blood sugar for so long that now it feels normal. I feel low when I hit about 120 sometimes. Ouch!
I figure if I spend so much time on twitter, facebook, tumblr, etc., then why shouldn't I use that to make me pay more attention to my diabetes? My goal here is to have diabetes -- not let it have me. Who knows if this will work wonders or be a spectacular flop. We'll just have to find out, won't we? But if Victoria and this DOC thing are any previous indication, I think it will.
[[That's where the title for this post came from -- immediately after I started this blog and twitter, Victoria had a welcoming committee ready to wave me into the DOC. It was awesome -- I was at work trying to fix a high (370;; shame on me!) when I got a flood of tweets saying hi. Put a smile on my face, anyway (: I already love you people!]]
Who wants to only read about diabetes and the boring logistics all the time? Not me, that's for certain. So my goal here, lovely fellow bloggers, is to keep it interesting. So enough about why I started this blog. Here's a little bit about the [dysfunctional] pancreas (and the human it belongs to) behind the pump.
My name is Jordan, but I have a ridiculous amount of nicknames. Most commonly I've been going by JJ lately, but a few choice ones include Josie, J-Metal, and Sarah Jo (for the record, my first name is Sarah.) Pick one, any one...I promise I'll answer!
Typical Facts In Short-Answer Form (a.k.a. "I'm Sure If I Wrote This As A Paragraph, You'd Skim It")
Age: 20 (21 on November 1st, baby! That should be an interesting night out with the pump...)
School: I'm currently at UAH[untsville], studying English, or Communications, or...something Liberal Arts-y. I haven't decided yet!
Things That Are Rad: horses (specifically mine, Noel), photography, writing, reading, my webshow (the J-Metal Show -- look it up on youtube!), music (concerts especially), when I don't have high A1Cs, cheesecake, designing t-shirts // apparel
Things That Suck: My current A1C, crickets, gas prices, vacuums (get it?!), my sense of humor (I apologize for all the lame jokes...), MATH
Food I Could Eat For the Rest of Forever: Peanut Butter and Nutella sandwiches, sushi, mac n' cheese, whipped cream (not together!)
D-Facts!
Dia-versary: February 10, 2003 (Which means I was 12 years old and have therefore had the T1D for 8-ish years.)
Meter: FreeStyle Lite. LOVE IT. Teeny tiny and I can test on my arm. I might have d-freckles from using the same spot so many times, but hey. My fingers are not to be poked!
Insulin: Novolog...hence the reason for the blog title! Although of course, we've always got that back up Lantus in the fridge...(in case your "waterproof" pump becomes "un-waterproof" in the middle of Lake City, FL on your way to vacation at nine p.m. when the pharmacies are closing.)
Low BG Fix of Choice: Juicy Juice
Pump: Animas IR 2020, recentely re-named the OneTouch Ping. I named mine "Pong". (I have the Ping "Pong". More lame jokes!)
I reckon that's about it for now. Be sure to follow me on twitter @novologninja for more lame humor, among other things. Thanks for reading, y'all (can you tell I'm southern?) and I hope I wasn't boring!
<3 Jordan
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